losing jonathon

From my youth I desired to have one very deep kinship in my lifetime. The kind of relationship that David and Jonathon shared, a love crossing over family blood and social norm. A bond that is unexplainable and inseparable. It seemed to be an unattainable dream...something only to be hoped for.

God knew my heart and placed circumstances in my life for this relationship to occur. Meeting, getting to know and sharing life with my very own jonathon was one of the most satisfying times that I have ever known. I knew that I could share all of who I am and be loved and so did she. A true kindred spirit. It was beautiful!!

And as we knew its beauty so did satan. He hates the beauty that is Gods creation and this friendship was Gods creation. So the great deceiver set out to destroy that which brought such glory to the King and joy to my heart. And as it were, I was blindsided and thrust into a situation that would ultimately end that which I had longed for my whole life.

I had hoped that restoration could occur and that God was bigger but moving on seems to be the answer. "Just let go of it, Katie" "Focus on other things, Katie" everyone says to me.... and I guess its time since my jonathon has seemed to do just that. I guess its just taken me a while because I held on to the kindred part of the relationship so much. The part where I finally felt like I had a sister who Loved me and was mine. I pray that God will now satisfy that which seems missing in my life and heal my broken heart.